Emergence: A Dave Hooper novel
What’s not to like about Dave? He can lift. He can party. He has a splitting maul named Lucille.
He’s the kind of right wing guy that everyone likes. Thinks Greenpeace are vegetarian softcocks and instead of talking, he gets shit done.
Gets. Shit. Done. Shit like burying Lucille into the faces of an invading horde of demons. Shit that needs doing.
I am, of course, referring to Dave Hooper, from John Birmingham’s latest book of ‘splody bloody goodness – Emergence. Some call him the next Jane Austen, but they’re vegetarian softcocks. He’s more the next Matthew Reilly, but without the constant italics. He’s a Fairfax columnist, who in his spare time pumps out alternate world fiction where good guys wreak revenge in Texas, bad guys ARE ACTUAL NAZIS, entire nations are reduced to goo (except Seattle) and Prince Harry travels back in time and sleeps with every woman born in 1925. If you have ever wondered how a Japanese Zero would do against modern warships, he’s your man.
So how can I help Dave? Well, it turns out all his super speed and strength requires lots of energy. Now Mr Birmingham writes a blog at cheeseburgergothic.com – but a cheese burger just isn’t going to cut it energy wise, is it? It just isn’t good enough.
Which got me thinking, what kind of burgers would an all American hero, who laughs in the face of calories, need? To defend me. To defend you. To defend ‘merica.
Big fuck-off burger combos is what.
So here is goes – Eight Burgers for Dave #BurgersForDave #TheDave
A burger a day, starting today. Each burger will be judged on ‘Mericaness, actual taste, estimated minutes to power Dave.
Fuck you Demons. Come get some.