Tony Abbott hates marriage, the monarchy, God and Australia

Tony Abbott has suggested that the PM shouldn’t attend the marriage of Prince William and Kate because the PM doesn’t believe in marriage, the monarchy or God.

Putting aside what this says about Mr Abbott’s maturity (which I shall endeavour to sink below in this post) and the current state of Australian federal politics, the statement does require some analysis.

First, let’s look at the surface arguments and see if they stack up.

1) Marriage: The PM’s marital status is of no bearing to her opinions of marriage. Her statements are the polar opposite of what the leader of the opposition suggests: the PM strongly supports marriage and has said so many times. I may not agree with her definition, as she defines it as being between a man and a woman only, but her stance on marriage is identical to Tony Abbott’s.

2) The Monarchy: Prince William will be our future head of state, and is the grandson of our current head of state. As Australian is a democratic constitutional monarchy, our PM should attend this important diplomatic event as our representative as leader of our country as part of the Commonwealth of Nations.

3) God: The Australian constitution forbids a religious test for public office. It doesn’t matter what faith or lack of the Prime Minister has, the PM can and should attend this wedding.

So the arguments don’t stand up. And look simply like a cheap ‘zing’ he couldn’t resist. But what does this reveal about Tony Abbott’s true agenda? He may not realise, but Tony Abbott has accidentally exposed his hatred of marriage, the monarchy, God and Australia and his future plans to destroy us.

Marriage: As Tony is suggesting that, regardless of their support for the institution of marriage, only married people can attend a wedding – what does that mean? Divorced: Out. Widowed: Out. Unmarried? Um… that means Prince William and Kate are out. Neither is married. Ergo Tony wants to destroy the institution of marriage – by preventing unmarried couples presenting themselves at a wedding ceremony. Insidious.

The Monarchy: Tony is suggesting the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia not attend the wedding of our future King. You may bury it deep, Tony, but your hatred of the lovely Queen Elizabeth, Queen of Australia, is showing. Once, twenty years ago, her corgi bit her, and now this? That makes me sad because she seems lovely. For shame, Tony.

God: By expressing that only the Church of England faithful attend the wedding (and also neatly excluding himself from attendance, more examples of his hatred of our Queen and future King) he is expressing the opinion that our future King’s God is false. He hates the Church of England God. He hates the Jewish God. We know he hates the Muslim God. While our PM is simply a non-believer in any God, he hates other Gods. No doubt this is simply the outward expression of a man deeply committed to removing religion from all walks of life, following his bitter disappointment of not being good enough to become a Priest.

Australia: Australia is a pluralist society with a secular government. Tony hates that. It’s obvious. Taken at face value, it is obvious he plans to only allow Catholics to hold office (little boys FOR EVERYONE!), sneers at Jews who attend Christian weddings and instead of giving everyone a fair go, will make personal attacks on your beliefs and deny you opportunities as he see fit.

Lastly, he can’t see an Australian ever leading Australia. Which means he hates you. You’re not good enough to lead Australia because of where you were born.

There you have it. Tony Abbott hates marriage, the monarchy, God but most of all, he hates Australia, the Australian way of life and every unmarried non-Catholic female Australian. I just chucked in female. For shits and giggles. Probably true but.

(Update: actually he didn’t say the PM shouldn’t attend, he said “She may not believe in God, the monarchy or marriage but there will be a royal wedding bounce” but I don’t care – please see my maturity disclaimer.

Also, he obviously still hates the idea of an unmarried Atheist, which means he hates a pluralistic Australia and lastly, I question if he’d use any of those words if our PM was a republic-supporting Jewish man. Fuck you, Tony, fuck you)

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12 thoughts on “Tony Abbott hates marriage, the monarchy, God and Australia

  1. Dude, you should’ve gone and read a book in the sunshine with a cuppa, instead of dedicating that 30-40 minutes to Tony Abbott. You’re never gonna get that time back again! 🙂

      1. You need to move into my house – lots of opportunity for cursing at Tonys.

        Nice rant, Idle. I do enjoy them 🙂

  2. Tony’s just jealous. And an idiot. And if not for the fact that he purports himself as an alternative Prime Minister, I would find his absurd comments thoroughly amusing.

    Love & stuff
    Mrs M

  3. Wow! First off when I am pissed at someone ,will you write the rant I want to send him/her/them????
    I am guessing he would not like the Christian- Jewish non married state of my household??
    You could look at the positive side- it saves money if he does not attend, God knows whenever a Canuck in Office attends a wedding and over seas,no less,it costs the tax payers.
    Great rant, Gotta love ya!

  4. Oh, this is TOOOOOO good. Just came here from another blog (to avoid writing a book review due…a fortnight ago). And this is toooooo brilliant. Bookmarking this blog now.

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